Finally A Convenient Pet For Dog Lovers!

I know many dog lovers are anxiously awaiting the introduction of a canine which can compete with the starcat for the designation of "world's most convenient pet." Lucky for them the wait is nearly over. Cat lovers now have a less contemptuous pet with the starcat. Dog lovers have been wanting a less enmeshed pet and now comes the squeagle. The squeagle is a perfect pet for people that love dogs but hate having some four legged sycophant constantly under foot (and man do they howl when you accidentally step on them). The squeagle is the perfect pet for on the go people. The squeagle has all the intelligence, loyalty, and loveability of a beagle with the cunning self sufficiency of a squirrel. Squeagles are affectionate and readily come when called, they love to play fetch if you use acorns or peanuts instead sticks or balls.

I understand how distressing it is to leave the house when your pet pooch reacts as if you are abandoning him forever! Dogs seem to think every time you go outside you are never ever coming home again! Then while you're away they they decide to empty the kitchen garbage can onto the living room floor. When you come home they are so happy to see you that you're paralyzed with emotional dissonance. You're mad over the mess but  the doggy is so effervescent with relief at your return you feel guilty for being mad! This kind of internal conflict can give you a neurosis. You will never suffer such psychological trauma as the owner of a squeagle.

You can leave your pet squeagle alone in the backyard indefinitely. Your squeagle will scavenge nuts and seeds and conceal them in secret hiding places. If some neighborhood cat comes into your yard anticipating making a meal of your pet, that cat is in for a rude awakening. It is very entertaining to watch as some naive kitty stalks a squeagle only to be scared half to death when the bushy tailed little beast suddenly spins around bares its teeth and starts barking maniacally! This kind of internal conflict can give a cat a neurosis.

The only difficulty of owning a squeagle has to do with their chisel like incisors. These fast growing teeth give the squeagle a cute bucktoothed face but, they grow so fast that the squeagle needs to engage in nearly incessant gnawing to avoid them scraping the ground. This is only a problem for indoor pets. Fortunately the squeagles canine learning ability makes it easy to train and they love to fetch. Simply toss a whetstone down the hall (be careful this is no rubber ball!) and yell "fetch it boy!" As your obedient squeagle snatches his toy he automatically grinds down his two front teeth. Try and get in several hours of play each day! (Hey it is part dog after all.)




Russell