The Most Convenient Cat Ever!

Sorry dog lovers but the most popular pet in America is the cat. This may be because as recent studies evidence almost half of all cats have multiple owners! This is one indicator among many that despite their popularity cats are often quite difficult on their owners. Lets face it, cats are inconvenient pets! Dogs are inconvenient due to their neediness. Cats are inconvenient out of their utter disregard. Modern science just may have a solution for cat lovers.

Through the genius of genetic engineering, you will soon be able to own the most convenient cat ever! The starcat is a miraculous creature, part feline, part echinoderm. Ever tried to catch a cat? It's practically impossible! Cats are fast, they can hide under or behind almost anything, they climb like crazy and if you do corner them they attack! The starcat solves all these problems. Starcats are as speedy as starfish, your 90 year old grandmother could outrun one using her walker without breaking a sweat! Starcats can hide sort of, but they cannot flatten themselves out or squeeze themselves behind stuff like an ordinary cat can. They can't climb at all, with the exception of glass, their tube feet are great at adhering to sliding glass doors. It can be startling to turn around to rinse off your back in the shower only to find your pet starcat staring at you! Most convenient of all starcats are virtually incapable of attack, there is an insignificant risk of asphyxiation should a starcat somehow attach to your face, so avoid passing out on the floor.

Starcats have difficulty mating so you can probably avoid the embarrassment of having them spayed or neutered without paying the consequence of having to deal with a litter of starkittens. If do want another starcat there is a simple method of getting one to five new starkittys! Just break off one, two, three, four or five of your starcats "arms," each will grow into a brand new starcat, with only minor and temporary inconvenience to your current pet! What could be more convenient than that? Many cat lovers also like birds, squirrels, bunnies, butterflies, ornamental fish and any number of the other of God's creatures typically murdered by cats. Good news! none of these darling animals is in any danger from the ground hugging, slow moving, clawless and non-pouncing starcat. The starcat is indeed the most convenient cat ever. Look for one, coming soon to your pet shop or aquarium store!





Russell