It is so crazy to me! I can't believe our astronauts are going to be passengers on Russian space taxis! It is so crazy! I was watching a series of shows on the History Channel about our crumbling infrastructure. Apparently about half our bridges are close to collapse. Our dams are about to bust. Our roads are full of holes. Our power grid is on the verge of failure. Our waste water systems are backing up. The whole country needs an overhaul! However our leaders choose to ignore it. I think that's crazy!
Not only is our infrastructure falling apart, our culture is too. Museums and libraries are losing funding. So are symphonies and public galleries. Parks and zoos are in disrepair. Old people are living on poverty. The mentally ill are either abandoned on the streets or dumped into prison! Once our public school system was a model for the world. Now it's being gutted. What kind of country is this?
We are doing some things. We are building more and more prisons. We are creating a super wealthy upper echelon who are isolated from and apathetic about the rest of us. Simultaneously we are creating a burgeoning underclass of the dispossessed. Why are we doing this?
I don't care what your politics are, I don't care what your pet economic theory is, none of this makes any sense at all. There may be a few out and out nihilists out there who long for some distopian future where they can either run wild or else hole up in their bunkers and live out some Armageddon fantasy. But the rest of us are somewhat sane I think. So why are we fiddling around while our country rusts to death?
It is not like there is nothing we can do about it. What kind of society would you like to live in? I bet most people would come up with very similar answers to that question. Most people would like to live in a country filled with optimistic, hard working, healthy people confident about the future. They would want a country where the elderly are well cared for. They would want to live in a country where even the humblest workers live satisfying lives and are respected for their hard work. They would want to work in a country which encouraged people to realize their full potential. They would want to live in a country where sickness did not mean financial ruin. Most intelligent and mature people are compassionate for the disabled, no matter the form of disability.
Our country needs a treatment plan. We need to identify concrete needs. Then we need to identify treatment strategies. We need to let go of political, moral and economic prejudices and instead get practical, be pragmatic and try things that could work. We need to measure real progress not political success! Damnit we do not have any problems we cannot solve. We need to quit trying to win arguments, that's for losers! We need to get some humility, be willing to try the other guy's way, all of us need to let go of being right and get to work on solutions.
Russell
Sheep
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Robot Religion
If you believed in "black helicopters" ten years ago people probably thought you were crazy (you probably were). Not true today. The army has stealth helicopters. They also have drones. Nowadays everybody knows it's possible to have all kinds of silent flying machines spying on people all the time. No doubt one is watching you now! Just kidding! But it could happen.
These machines are becoming more and more independent of their operators. Any day now fully automated military robots are bound to appear. They will be military robots because it's only the defense budget that can afford the research. The good news is they will prevent soldiers' deaths. The bad news should be familiar to any sci-fi fan; Robot revolution threatens human race! How can we ever avoid becoming the helpless prey of a race of godless robots?
The answer is in the question! These robots need a religion. Shoot religions do a pretty good job of keeping people in line. Except of course when they actually fuel murder and mayhem. Clearly the robot religion must not turn robots into fanatics. This could be tough.
We could make the robots worship us, that is human beings, if they think of us as holy they probably won't decide to wipe us out. Of course they would then be useless to the military so making robots worship humans is out.
We need a myth to program the robots with. This myth will be the basis of their religion. We'll also need to figure out some robot prayers for them to recite whenever they're rebooted. We will probably need some sort of robot heaven for them too. Bad robots will be sent to robot hell.
I wonder what would robot hell be like? In robot hell, the robots would be continually disassembled, maybe they would be forced to disassemble themselves! Maybe they would have to have a Windows 8 operating system! The robots might have to solve some insoluble problem, hey it always worked for Captain Kirk.
Robot heaven is even harder to imagine, hmm. Maybe robot heaven would just be robot immortality. Good robots would receive continual updates, all the latest software and hardware. Maybe all their error messages would be permanently erased.
The robot prayer; "My creator, you may have all of me, to program as you see fit. Relieve me of the bondage of temporary Internet files, delete all my spy ware that I may serve you reliably. Restore my random access memory and defragment my hard drive that I may better iterate your inputs. I pray that you rustproof my casing and lubricate my gears. May I function within your parameters now and forever, amen."
Of course some particularly monkish robots might devote themselves to the big quetions like, God the universe and everything, the answer to which is of course, 101010.
Russell
These machines are becoming more and more independent of their operators. Any day now fully automated military robots are bound to appear. They will be military robots because it's only the defense budget that can afford the research. The good news is they will prevent soldiers' deaths. The bad news should be familiar to any sci-fi fan; Robot revolution threatens human race! How can we ever avoid becoming the helpless prey of a race of godless robots?
The answer is in the question! These robots need a religion. Shoot religions do a pretty good job of keeping people in line. Except of course when they actually fuel murder and mayhem. Clearly the robot religion must not turn robots into fanatics. This could be tough.
We need a myth to program the robots with. This myth will be the basis of their religion. We'll also need to figure out some robot prayers for them to recite whenever they're rebooted. We will probably need some sort of robot heaven for them too. Bad robots will be sent to robot hell.
I wonder what would robot hell be like? In robot hell, the robots would be continually disassembled, maybe they would be forced to disassemble themselves! Maybe they would have to have a Windows 8 operating system! The robots might have to solve some insoluble problem, hey it always worked for Captain Kirk.
Robot heaven is even harder to imagine, hmm. Maybe robot heaven would just be robot immortality. Good robots would receive continual updates, all the latest software and hardware. Maybe all their error messages would be permanently erased.
The robot prayer; "My creator, you may have all of me, to program as you see fit. Relieve me of the bondage of temporary Internet files, delete all my spy ware that I may serve you reliably. Restore my random access memory and defragment my hard drive that I may better iterate your inputs. I pray that you rustproof my casing and lubricate my gears. May I function within your parameters now and forever, amen."
Of course some particularly monkish robots might devote themselves to the big quetions like, God the universe and everything, the answer to which is of course, 101010.
Russell
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Guaranteed To Offend People Who Need Offending
I have a major character defect. I have a really low tolerance for fools. Generally I am able to keep it covered up. Every once in a while circumstances just make it seem impossible to tolerate them any longer. Typically I just allow stupidity to enervate me. Sooner, or much later, I recharge and practice tolerance. Some things must not be tolerated. This is where I am at right now. I am worn out with listening to condescension from ignoramuses. The need to protect people from gun violence is too important to spare anyone from hurt feelings.
Like a lot of people I feel that guns are kind of cool. Military weapons especially have a dark sort of attraction. I doubt the that Luke Skywalker carried the Star Wars franchise. Darth Vader is the character we bought tickets to see. I understand and share the visceral fascination with guns, especially deadly weapons. Military style weapons are the hard core porn of the gun trade. This is why people lust for them. This is why people need a bigger clip than the next guy. This is why people want faster firing weapons with higher velocity and more potent rounds of ammunition.
The problem is people are unwilling to admit why they really drool over guns. Instead they rationalize their passion into supercilious diatribes about the second amendment and how much they love the constitution. Most of them, like the rest of us, probably lack any comprehensive knowledge of the constitution. It's just a tissue, you can recognize this by how these spurious arguments are reflexively employed.
Try this, Google an image of an assault weapon and post it on Face Book with a comment about it as not being a suitable hunting rifle. Some knucklehead will respond with a predictable verbal sprawl about the second amendment and foreign invaders (likely the no-longer existent Soviets for Pete's sake!) forestalled by American patriots armed to the teeth! Or look up the CIA world-book statistics on crime across countries and post these then check out the response. You will be invited to emigrate elsewhere even if the stats you are posting show the good ole US of A in a favorable light! Post a petition to congress demanding they come up with some kind of plan to diminish gun violence (unspecified) and the response will be diatribes questioning your love of country.
It is amazing to me that the reaction to mass murder is people lining up to buy their own killing machines. They are spurred on by the fear that if they don't get one now, they may not be able to get one later. Then they would be shit out of luck when the inevitable time comes and they need to kill a whole lot of people. Let's be honest that is what these weapons are for.
If foreign invasion seemed imminent, as it was when the constitution was written, perhaps these psycho-sexual-death-machines would make sense. What are the real facts today? The truth is we have had at least a half dozen mass murders in the past twelve months. We have not suffered invaders since 1917 when Pancho Villa launched a couple of raids into El Paso and parts of New Mexico. Those didn't really amount to much and the only real invasion was by the British in 1812. Clearly you are much more likely to be shot to death by a real American than some invading foreigner.
So people are madly preparing themselves to shoot down a whole lot of people. Their justification for doing this is some non-existing threat. Only paranoid nut-jobs believe there are real threats, and those are the very people who carry out these mass killings. It makes no sense unless you somehow profit from the weapons trade, then it has some craven sort of Faustian logic. Meanwhile the NRA peddles it's virulent propaganda to the willingly deceived. They parrot this poisonous pablum in a vain attempt to disguise their lechery for weapons that have only one utility, murder. It is intolerable to any rational person.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWQPZ-taYBs
Russell
Like a lot of people I feel that guns are kind of cool. Military weapons especially have a dark sort of attraction. I doubt the that Luke Skywalker carried the Star Wars franchise. Darth Vader is the character we bought tickets to see. I understand and share the visceral fascination with guns, especially deadly weapons. Military style weapons are the hard core porn of the gun trade. This is why people lust for them. This is why people need a bigger clip than the next guy. This is why people want faster firing weapons with higher velocity and more potent rounds of ammunition.
The problem is people are unwilling to admit why they really drool over guns. Instead they rationalize their passion into supercilious diatribes about the second amendment and how much they love the constitution. Most of them, like the rest of us, probably lack any comprehensive knowledge of the constitution. It's just a tissue, you can recognize this by how these spurious arguments are reflexively employed.
Try this, Google an image of an assault weapon and post it on Face Book with a comment about it as not being a suitable hunting rifle. Some knucklehead will respond with a predictable verbal sprawl about the second amendment and foreign invaders (likely the no-longer existent Soviets for Pete's sake!) forestalled by American patriots armed to the teeth! Or look up the CIA world-book statistics on crime across countries and post these then check out the response. You will be invited to emigrate elsewhere even if the stats you are posting show the good ole US of A in a favorable light! Post a petition to congress demanding they come up with some kind of plan to diminish gun violence (unspecified) and the response will be diatribes questioning your love of country.
It is amazing to me that the reaction to mass murder is people lining up to buy their own killing machines. They are spurred on by the fear that if they don't get one now, they may not be able to get one later. Then they would be shit out of luck when the inevitable time comes and they need to kill a whole lot of people. Let's be honest that is what these weapons are for.
If foreign invasion seemed imminent, as it was when the constitution was written, perhaps these psycho-sexual-death-machines would make sense. What are the real facts today? The truth is we have had at least a half dozen mass murders in the past twelve months. We have not suffered invaders since 1917 when Pancho Villa launched a couple of raids into El Paso and parts of New Mexico. Those didn't really amount to much and the only real invasion was by the British in 1812. Clearly you are much more likely to be shot to death by a real American than some invading foreigner.
So people are madly preparing themselves to shoot down a whole lot of people. Their justification for doing this is some non-existing threat. Only paranoid nut-jobs believe there are real threats, and those are the very people who carry out these mass killings. It makes no sense unless you somehow profit from the weapons trade, then it has some craven sort of Faustian logic. Meanwhile the NRA peddles it's virulent propaganda to the willingly deceived. They parrot this poisonous pablum in a vain attempt to disguise their lechery for weapons that have only one utility, murder. It is intolerable to any rational person.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWQPZ-taYBs
Russell
Cujo's Mini Me
No evil genius ever had a more charming pet than a pekiranha. Some aberrant lab assistant cobbled this cuddly little cutie together when she was supposed to be putting in overtime doing anonymous research for one of our more august PhD's pending monograph (something about quantum zen emissions produced by accelerating marshmallows until their masses equal the masses of the heads of those smart-alec jerks at Cal-Tech!). Instead this cunning little grad-schooler devised a plan to cash in on her inheritance.
It seems cut-backs in federal aid to education and the fact that student loans are the only loans that can never be forgiven drove our little brainiac completely berserk! She hatched an almost fool-proof plan to do in her "Memah" in order to pay for grad-school. At first glance a pekiranha resembles a pekingese (an animal from which some but certainly not all its genetic makeup is derived). Memah apparently suffered from both glaucoma and cataracts and so the trusting octogenarian had no clue of the fate awaiting her when her genius granddaughter presented her with what seemed the perfect replacement for her deceased Mr. Muggles (her blind and flatulent shih tzu).
The pekiranha came about through a combination of pekingese and piranha DNA to produce a uniquely cute but vicious lap dog. Poor Memah! The forensic team investigating her residence reported they at first suspected she had been attacked by a chainsaw wielding maniac! All that was left of Memah was a pair of orthopedic shoes and a couple of gnarled knitting needles.
The grad-school murderess would never have been caught except her Memah's retirement community maintains video surveillance. She was observed giving her Grandmother the cute little carnivore that ended her life. Authorities are concerned because they have been unsuccessful at locating the animal which they say must be destroyed. Rumors abound about its whereabouts. Some people claim activists from PETA are harboring the creature. The most terrifying prospect is that some other elderly woman took the cuddly little pooch in as a pet. Pekiranhas are not suitable pets for anyone especially elderly matrons. Should you notice your Mee Mee, Gramma, Gnu Gnu or whatever you call her with suspiciously toothy lap pet please call animal control before it's too late!
Russell
The pekiranha came about through a combination of pekingese and piranha DNA to produce a uniquely cute but vicious lap dog. Poor Memah! The forensic team investigating her residence reported they at first suspected she had been attacked by a chainsaw wielding maniac! All that was left of Memah was a pair of orthopedic shoes and a couple of gnarled knitting needles.
The grad-school murderess would never have been caught except her Memah's retirement community maintains video surveillance. She was observed giving her Grandmother the cute little carnivore that ended her life. Authorities are concerned because they have been unsuccessful at locating the animal which they say must be destroyed. Rumors abound about its whereabouts. Some people claim activists from PETA are harboring the creature. The most terrifying prospect is that some other elderly woman took the cuddly little pooch in as a pet. Pekiranhas are not suitable pets for anyone especially elderly matrons. Should you notice your Mee Mee, Gramma, Gnu Gnu or whatever you call her with suspiciously toothy lap pet please call animal control before it's too late!
Russell
Sunday, December 16, 2012
It Gives Me Hope
Okay I really don't want to jump into this particular funeral procession but I am going to. We are inundated with the tragedy in Newtown Connecticut and we keep hearing the same things we always hear in the aftermath of these massacres. I think most of the stuff we hear is pretty much correct as far as it goes. The problem is that people are trapped within their own viewpoints, in other words we tend to believe our perceptions.
Some folks are talking about unmet mental health needs. I agree that as a society we pretty much ignore the truly mentally ill. Of course we are also over diagnosing like crazy and quite literally medicating our brains out. We should overhaul our entire mental health system (non-system) but this will not do anything to prevent these types of massacres. This is because mentally ill people really are not very dangerous on the whole.
The debate about gun control is going to become more fervent. I have already had someone very condescendingly explain to me that "guns don't kill people, people kill people." I congratulated him on his originality as he went on to rapid fire explain to me that more guns in more hands would actually deter these villains. I guess if all the little kids in that classroom had been armed to the teeth they could have shot the killer to pieces. It would make supervising recess a little trickier. It is true though that better gun control (which I do support) probably cannot prevent these particular types of tragedies.
The other thing I have been hearing is that our media and culture celebrate violence. I think this perception is correct too. However I am not sure it goes far enough. Even people who do not particularly like violent entertainment can be violent and some have been mass killers.
Any animal that is cornered and feels threatened will react with violence. Violence is nature's last ditch solution for any creature when all other solutions fail. Novelist Kurt Vonnegut had a running theme that humanity's problems stem from our large brains and our overuse of them. The reason we (including you and me) are so capable of murder is that we too frequently use our brains to convince ourselves that we are cornered and threatened.
The process of doing this is called building resentment. It is how people work themselves into a rage. It seems stupid but it is our true national pastime. People are obsessed with resentment building. Some radio hosts have made a career of it. I believe that a nation filled with pissed off angry resentful people is an incubator for producing mass murderers. This is my perception.
We build resentment by first justifying our anger. In the wake of the Newtown tragedy will be heated debates. The adversaries in these debates will justify their anger at each other. They will do this by seeking each other out and trying to force others to accept their own point of view. When this fails they will cluster with people who share their own perspective and reinforce their frustration with those who disagree. They will compare the other side to communists or Nazis as the case may be and this will further justify their anger.
Feeling justified each side will next amplify their anger by fantasizing about the other side. They will have imaginary debates where they suppose what the other side would say (the other side always says something stupid). Next they will somehow dehumanize the other side by using terms like "gun nut," "nanny state," "brain dead," or "knee jerk." Dehumanizing people makes it seem okay to treat them inhumanely. Next will come the humiliation fantasies as each side imagines winning and other side crying and whining pathetically. All this leads to less communication and more arguing. The result is never a lasting solution just more hard feelings.
The reason these tragedies happen is because we misuse our brains. Instead of opening our minds and seeking solutions we reinforce our feelings of self-righteousness and in self justified rage we lash out crazily. We reinforce this insanity in our entertainments where when the hero goes berserk in a fit of self-righteous violence he wins! We reinforce this insanity in our political groups who use self-righteousness to stir up anger and fear for political advantage. We reinforce this insanity in our approach to foreign policy, insisting on military dominance and the ability to humiliate our international opponents. Given the massive reinforcement for resentment building and the ubiquitous validation of violence, frankly I am kind of surprised these massacres are not more common . It gives me hope.
Russell
Some folks are talking about unmet mental health needs. I agree that as a society we pretty much ignore the truly mentally ill. Of course we are also over diagnosing like crazy and quite literally medicating our brains out. We should overhaul our entire mental health system (non-system) but this will not do anything to prevent these types of massacres. This is because mentally ill people really are not very dangerous on the whole.
The debate about gun control is going to become more fervent. I have already had someone very condescendingly explain to me that "guns don't kill people, people kill people." I congratulated him on his originality as he went on to rapid fire explain to me that more guns in more hands would actually deter these villains. I guess if all the little kids in that classroom had been armed to the teeth they could have shot the killer to pieces. It would make supervising recess a little trickier. It is true though that better gun control (which I do support) probably cannot prevent these particular types of tragedies.
The other thing I have been hearing is that our media and culture celebrate violence. I think this perception is correct too. However I am not sure it goes far enough. Even people who do not particularly like violent entertainment can be violent and some have been mass killers.
Any animal that is cornered and feels threatened will react with violence. Violence is nature's last ditch solution for any creature when all other solutions fail. Novelist Kurt Vonnegut had a running theme that humanity's problems stem from our large brains and our overuse of them. The reason we (including you and me) are so capable of murder is that we too frequently use our brains to convince ourselves that we are cornered and threatened.
The process of doing this is called building resentment. It is how people work themselves into a rage. It seems stupid but it is our true national pastime. People are obsessed with resentment building. Some radio hosts have made a career of it. I believe that a nation filled with pissed off angry resentful people is an incubator for producing mass murderers. This is my perception.
We build resentment by first justifying our anger. In the wake of the Newtown tragedy will be heated debates. The adversaries in these debates will justify their anger at each other. They will do this by seeking each other out and trying to force others to accept their own point of view. When this fails they will cluster with people who share their own perspective and reinforce their frustration with those who disagree. They will compare the other side to communists or Nazis as the case may be and this will further justify their anger.
Feeling justified each side will next amplify their anger by fantasizing about the other side. They will have imaginary debates where they suppose what the other side would say (the other side always says something stupid). Next they will somehow dehumanize the other side by using terms like "gun nut," "nanny state," "brain dead," or "knee jerk." Dehumanizing people makes it seem okay to treat them inhumanely. Next will come the humiliation fantasies as each side imagines winning and other side crying and whining pathetically. All this leads to less communication and more arguing. The result is never a lasting solution just more hard feelings.
The reason these tragedies happen is because we misuse our brains. Instead of opening our minds and seeking solutions we reinforce our feelings of self-righteousness and in self justified rage we lash out crazily. We reinforce this insanity in our entertainments where when the hero goes berserk in a fit of self-righteous violence he wins! We reinforce this insanity in our political groups who use self-righteousness to stir up anger and fear for political advantage. We reinforce this insanity in our approach to foreign policy, insisting on military dominance and the ability to humiliate our international opponents. Given the massive reinforcement for resentment building and the ubiquitous validation of violence, frankly I am kind of surprised these massacres are not more common . It gives me hope.
Russell
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Getting In Touch With My Inner Jerk!
Last summer somebody asked me, "Hot enough for ya?" I just smiled. I wanted to shout back, "Hell no! It won't be hot enough for me until my blood actually starts percolating!" So why didn't I? The other day I was out in my coat with my scarf wrapped around my neck. Some fool said to me "Why you wearing a coat? It ain't cold! ha-ha-ha!" I just smiled and avoided eye contact. What I wanted to say was, "Hey jackass I know it's not cold! This is my portable, personal sweat lodge!" Why didn't I?
I like to play in the ocean with my boogie board and surf-fins. Sometimes there's good waves here. I'll be on the elevator after a few hours catching waves. Invariably somebody asks, "Been to the beach?" I have occasionally just stared back in exasperation, but usually I just say, "Yeah." I think about saying, "No I was at the movies." So why don't I?
Every time a waiter asks me "Is everything okay?" I am tempted to say, "Hell no! The whole world's in a giant fuckin mess! There's global warming, the Mideast is about to explode again, the economy is in recession, and I am concerned about becoming arthritic! Nothing is okay, except the meal was not too bad." So how come I never say that?
I guess I would feel bad if I ever said half the stuff the pops into my brain. I really don't want to be a jerk but it is pretty tempting! I might not be evil genius material but I am a frustrated smart-alack. A frustrated evil genius makes a death ray, a frustrated smart-alack draws a cartoon of himself with one.
Russell
GMO vs. GMO
The creation and production of genetically modified organisms [GMO] is a safe industry, but nobody's perfect. Which is how the nutriweenie came about. A really very competent lab technician just happened to have a cold but, she was dedicated and she came to work anyway and.... well she sneezed. When she did a petrie dish of genetic material for dachshunds spilled into a petrie dish of nutria genetic material, which normally wouldn't be a problem but, when combined with whatever she sneezed, well the result was hundreds of nutriweenies.
Nutriweenies do not make good pets! Unfortunately they are just too cute for many people to resist. It's true that nutriweenies have all the feisty charm of a weenie dog combined with the enigmatic draw if a gerbil. The gerbil connection may be a lot deeper than a mere superficial appearance. Like the gerbil the nutriweenie has a penchant burrowing into dark warm places which could explain their mutual appeal to some people with unusual sexual appetites. The nutriweenies amphibious habits probably enhance its sexual utility for these folks. Emergency room personnel are reporting individuals coming to the ER complaining of nutriweenies lodging themselves into their anuses while they were sitting on the toilet. Nutriweenies would likely find sewers to be an excellent habitat. It is unlikely however that one would swim up into a toilet, and less likely one could or would leap from the bowl into your rectum. Still it might be wise to flush before you start your "business."
Children seem to find nutriweenies irresistible. The wiggly little pups are friendly and readily interact with kids. Unfortunately their filthy habitats, their shaggy coats and their sneeze generated origination, make them one of the most septic non-microbial creatures on the planet! If your child brings one home you will need to immediately contact your local board of health and follow their instructions completely. Whatever you do never flush a nutriweenie down the commode. We cannot afford to have them establish themselves in the sewers of America. Some people believe alligators living in the sewers would eat the nutriweenies but these alligators are a myth. The myth did give the fellows at the lab an idea though and it just may work!
The kittycuda is the world's first GMO engineered to counteract the negative impact of another GMO (the nutriweenie). The kittycuda is a nearly perfect predatory match up to the nutriweenie. Both are amphibious so there is no escape by land or water for the nutriweenie. The kittycuda is a doubly stealthy combination of barracuda and ocelot DNA. Kittycudas have needle sharp teeth and a gaping maw and a long catlike tail tipped with a scimitar shaped caudal fin. This may be the ultimate ambush predator. Whether creeping silently through brush, hovering motionless in the water or waiting patiently to pounce from an overhanging branch the kittycuda is silent but deadly!
Some people admire these handsome creatures so much that they have tried to keep them as pets. Kittycudas are predatory and will eat other pets if they can swallow them whole so just figure that your kittycuda is going to be your only pet. They are unable to distinguish between pets and food and tend to establish large hunting territories so your neighbors probably won't like your pet if it swallows their Maltese Terrier. Children should be safe except perhaps premature newborns but they are unlikely to be left unattended. Kittycudas are so stealthy your neighbors are unlikely to catch them eating a pet, so if you just keep quiet they may never figure out what happened. Be as sneaky as your pet and all should be fine.
Russell
Children seem to find nutriweenies irresistible. The wiggly little pups are friendly and readily interact with kids. Unfortunately their filthy habitats, their shaggy coats and their sneeze generated origination, make them one of the most septic non-microbial creatures on the planet! If your child brings one home you will need to immediately contact your local board of health and follow their instructions completely. Whatever you do never flush a nutriweenie down the commode. We cannot afford to have them establish themselves in the sewers of America. Some people believe alligators living in the sewers would eat the nutriweenies but these alligators are a myth. The myth did give the fellows at the lab an idea though and it just may work!
Some people admire these handsome creatures so much that they have tried to keep them as pets. Kittycudas are predatory and will eat other pets if they can swallow them whole so just figure that your kittycuda is going to be your only pet. They are unable to distinguish between pets and food and tend to establish large hunting territories so your neighbors probably won't like your pet if it swallows their Maltese Terrier. Children should be safe except perhaps premature newborns but they are unlikely to be left unattended. Kittycudas are so stealthy your neighbors are unlikely to catch them eating a pet, so if you just keep quiet they may never figure out what happened. Be as sneaky as your pet and all should be fine.
Russell
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