No evil genius ever had a more charming pet than a pekiranha. Some aberrant lab assistant cobbled this cuddly little cutie together when she was supposed to be putting in overtime doing anonymous research for one of our more august PhD's pending monograph (something about quantum zen emissions produced by accelerating marshmallows until their masses equal the masses of the heads of those smart-alec jerks at Cal-Tech!). Instead this cunning little grad-schooler devised a plan to cash in on her inheritance.
It seems cut-backs in federal aid to education and the fact that student loans are the only loans that can never be forgiven drove our little brainiac completely berserk! She hatched an almost fool-proof plan to do in her "Memah" in order to pay for grad-school. At first glance a pekiranha resembles a pekingese (an animal from which some but certainly not all its genetic makeup is derived). Memah apparently suffered from both glaucoma and cataracts and so the trusting octogenarian had no clue of the fate awaiting her when her genius granddaughter presented her with what seemed the perfect replacement for her deceased Mr. Muggles (her blind and flatulent shih tzu).
The pekiranha came about through a combination of pekingese and piranha DNA to produce a uniquely cute but vicious lap dog. Poor Memah! The forensic team investigating her residence reported they at first suspected she had been attacked by a chainsaw wielding maniac! All that was left of Memah was a pair of orthopedic shoes and a couple of gnarled knitting needles.
The grad-school murderess would never have been caught except her Memah's retirement community maintains video surveillance. She was observed giving her Grandmother the cute little carnivore that ended her life. Authorities are concerned because they have been unsuccessful at locating the animal which they say must be destroyed. Rumors abound about its whereabouts. Some people claim activists from PETA are harboring the creature. The most terrifying prospect is that some other elderly woman took the cuddly little pooch in as a pet. Pekiranhas are not suitable pets for anyone especially elderly matrons. Should you notice your Mee Mee, Gramma, Gnu Gnu or whatever you call her with suspiciously toothy lap pet please call animal control before it's too late!
Russell
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