More Pets Of The Future!

Tiny dogs like chihuahuas are so delicate they do not make practical pets. Yet they are so adorably hideous people cannot but help loving these pissy little beasts. Thanks to the ultra modern science of gene splicing you can now have a robust little pet that retains all the abominable charm of the original Mexicanine! The armahuahua combines the finest qualities of Americas two favorite illegal immigrants, the armadillo and the chihuahua. Instead of jumping around and pissing everywhere when alarmed the armahuahua curls into a ball and starts bouncing around in random directions. This is highly stimulating to children and helps them develop hand eye coordination as they try to literally catch their pet!

Neither armadillos nor chihuahuas have much of a sporting reputation, although armadillos are sometimes used as a ball in games of automobile polo. Armahuahuas are sporting dogs! Not surprisingly their sport is futbol! (soccer to you whitey!) It takes a relatively large armahuahua but when they curl up they make a decent soccer ball. Finally after a lousy crappy day at work you can come home and kick the dog without feeling guilty about it! Everybody is going to want one of these little hybrid mutts. Science scores a, GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

However if the armahuahua does not appeal to you perhaps the lhasopossum will. These quiet omnivores are an ideal pet for shift workers or anyone who stays up late and sleeps all day because like an opossum they are nocturnal. Lhasopossums are shy and sometimes one will hide in a closet hanging from a hanger rod by its prehensile tail. If the family pet chooses to hang from the shower rod it can be upsetting for both of you! Lhasopossums do not react well to be sprayed with water. They are generally easy to maintain and have an appetite for garbage which makes them a favorite pet for avid recyclers. They are not especially playful but not surprisingly they are really good at playing dead. They hate shaking hands and usually mistake a proffered digit for a tempting morsel, ouch!

Lhasopossums are extremely prolific and generally produce a litter of a dozen or more! Becoming a breeder should be easy but you will have to make your profit by selling in volume. Seeing a mother lhasopossum skittering around with her pups clinging to her erect tail is a heartwarming sight. The pups are tiny but develop fast. The puppies wrap their prehensile tails around their mothers tail to hitch a ride. This propensity can be used in a charming way during the holiday season. If you are giving pet lhasopossums as gifts you can simply hang the puppies from your Christmas tree by their tails. Children love finding the cute pet Santa left for them hanging on the tree! Be careful though because lhasopossum pups have a taste for tinsel and the shiny pellets they defecate are attractive to children, yikes!





Russell