Can you imagine just how boring the next President is going to be? Remember how exciting Obama seemed to be last time? Now you realize just how boring he actually is! I'm not sure but I bet Mitt Romney is even less interesting. The only fascinating thing about either of these guys are their names. Barack is a pretty weird name, too bad it belongs to a guy who could be more accurately named Ho Hum. Ho Hum Obama is still a pretty weird name though. Mitt? Really! Who gets a name like Mitt? Actually it's a nickname his real moniker is Willard! Now that fits him! Willard Romney amateur philatelist wants to be your president. Because Willard was too fitting for him Willard decided to name himself after a baseball glove. Who does that? Suppose Mitt was already taken what would he have called himself? Golf Tee Romney? Helmet Romney? Jock Strap Romney? You know who was accurately named? Newt Gingrich! Sounds like some sort of skin disease afflicting salamanders. Too bad he's no longer a candidate. Fortunately he's still a media whore. The next four years we are probably going to have the least interesting man ever in the Oval Office.
Outside of politics I think those Tuttle guys on "American Chopper" are not interesting at all. I mean a show based on a father and son who yell at each other! Who's brainchild was that? I do like the bikes. But the fact that they're built by a temperamental old grouch and his whiner son is not fascinating at all! I have a suggestion, they should have Ben Stein narrate all the dialogue on "American Chopper." Now that would be interesting! Until that happens The Paul Sr. and Jr. will remain the least interesting men on a reality show.
You know who else is pretty fucking worthless? Tosh point O, or is it Tosh Zero? It should be zero because he is zero funny. Seinfeld was supposed to be about nothing. Tosh is nothing. I admit he does know how to be offensive and maybe that is something. I don't mind offensive if there's a point to it. I agree with John Cleese who famously said that "some people need to be offended." It is good to offend those people. People who watch Tosh Zero are those people. They should stick to gawking at traffic accidents, ogling maggots, lighting farts and shopping at Spencer's Gifts so that the airwaves an be free of stupid buffoons like Tosh Zero. He's the world's least interesting comedian.
George Will hasn't had an original thought since 1980, Rush Limbaugh is a big fat boor! George Stephanopoulos has nothing to say, Robin McNeil is dead. I could go on but why? All the TV talking heads except Stephen Colbert and John Stewart are absolutely uninteresting. Do you really need to listen to Ed Shultz or Bill O'Reilly to know exactly what they think about anything? If you do, you're either five years old and should stick to Sponge Bob, or you are Sponge Bob. All these people are in a dead heat for being the least interesting commentators on TV.
I'm bored with most sports personalities too. Have you ever listened to Mike Tyson? You will never get that time back! It's gone forever, utterly wasted! But don't feel too bad you would have wasted just as much time listening to any sports figure. I know some people really like listening to sports talk (they will never read this) they even like quoting sports figures. They use sports metaphors in conversation. These people are truly the least interesting people in the world.
I don't drink beer anymore but if I did it would be a whole lot of beer. Drink life and stay thirsty my friends.
Russell
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