I can't decide if the political campaign season is too dirty or not nearly dirty enough. I didn't mind Joe Biden's remarks about Mitt Romney wanting to "put y'all back in chains." I did mind the official explanation that it was just an innocent gaff, that even though the audience was mostly African American it was not a reference to slavery. I figure that if you reference slavery you should own it. They should have said, "Romney has a secret plan to re-institute slavery" or, "Romney is going to essentially re-institute slavery" or at least, "y'all going to be virtual slaves!" If you say something mean it! And then Romney starts joking around about birth certificates but says he didn't mean anything by it. That's pretty chicken too! He should have just said what he meant like, "President Obama is in fact a bastard!" or, "who knows where this bastard in the White House comes from?"
The Republicans call Obama a socialist, I guess that's pretty negative. Then again Helen Keller was a socialist. They should just say he is the son of Joseph Stalin, that would play into the birther thing too. Democrats could say that not only did Romney strap the family pets to the roof his station wagon he tied their black servants up there too! We could really get this campaign stuff going maybe. It is too bad that Newt Gingrich is out because the Democrats could start their own birther issue by suggesting he is the bastard son of the Michelin Man! Sorry about that but it is hard to come up with really entertaining insults about two such colorless candidates as Obama and Romney (color as in personality not race).
How did we manage to select such drab candidates. Maybe they are both actually genetic experiments. Some mad scientist was trying to come up with the perfect candidate. Maybe they identified a gene associated with personality and managed to eliminate it. Personalities are offensive but the lack of a personality can also be disconcerting. They say that we don't just vote with our heads (IE. for the candidate that is most likely to do things which will benefit us) but also with our hearts (IE. for the candidate we might actually want to hang out with). Hmm... would I rather hang out with Romney or Obama? I suppose I would choose Obama since I can't imagine hanging out with anyone who reminds of Romney. But then again I don't think Obama would be that much fun either.
I might like hanging out with Joe Biden, Ron Paul, Newt Gingrich, Ralph Nader and maybe Sarah Palin. I know it sounds crazy but imagine you're having coffee at Denny's, (a place which requires interesting company to be tolerated) who would you want to be there? Sitting listening to Obama and Romney would be so boring I'd probably turn suicidal! But listening Joe Biden and Ron Paul giving Sarah Palin a hard time for not knowing anything at all might be fun. Of course the truth is I might not want to hang with politicians at all but if I had to hang with politicians I would like to hang out with interesting ones (or at least entertaining ones).
So maybe Mitt and Barack can duke it out over who's least boring. Mitt could say that Obama is so boring that nobody bothered recording his birth. Barack could say Romney is so dull that his dog wouldn't even ride with him, preferring to be strapped precariously to the car's roof. The Democrats could say that even though the last four years have been boring that electing Romney would actually induce a political coma. Republicans could say that the last 12 years of Obama... what it's only four? It certainly has seemed like 12! How long was Gerald Ford the President? Too long! It's the same with either of these guys.
Russell
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