Don't Look At That It Will Ony Make It Happen!

I heard someone say that 95% of the things they had worried about never happened. I know what his intent was with that statement. But my evil cartoonist brain ran with the concrete version; Wow! what a great preventative strategy worrying turns out to be! So you want to avoid something just worry about it and there's a 95% probability it will never happen! cool!

Of course there are those proponents of the so-called "Law of Attraction" who say worrying about stuff actually increases the likelihood of it happening. They usually cite (very, very loosely) the observer effect from quantum mechanics*as scientific support for what sounds like a superstition. Nevertheless worrying does seem like a pretty negative hobby.

I used to be a news and current events junkie. I had to quit. Watching too much news is really bad for your psyche. It's like eating glass, totally unnourishing, and it hurts all the way down. Really any big news can be caught in a few minutes and checking in every few days or even once a week is plenty. Mostly there is just a lot of bad stuff that has nothing to do with anything you really need to know.

If you like to worry the media is a great source for you. I saw an "educational" show on all the various ways the earth could be destroyed. I think there was about 50 scenarios. By the time the show was over I could no longer justify doing the laundry. I mean why bother? We're doomed!

But hey we all like to worry right? I mean the news does have viewers, and that show I saw had sponsors (so it must have had an audience besides me - I don't buy shit). So in the public interest I decided to compile a list of stuff to worry about. You can add your own neurotic concerns of course, but I think this list should provide ample material to obsess on.

Stuff to worry about: global warming, flatulence, nuclear proliferation, space junk falling on your head, leaving the coffee pot turned on, drivers using cell phones, drivers texting, good mayonaise gone bad, terrorism, where are my car keys, getting laid off, you notice spinach on your tooth then realize it has been three days since you ate spinach so for the past three days everyone you have spoken to thinks you have a green tooth, the republicans, you could have a melonoma mole growing on a part of your body you never see, the stock market, all your friends have better friends, ear hair, was that tuna salad dolphin safe or did you just eat flipper's blow hole, you're not getting any younger, bad breath, you search your family tree online and learn your lover is your cousin, there could be someting hanging out of your nose and nobody wants to embarass you but it's making everybody feel nauseated, preservatives, tsunamis, bed bugs, a meteor the size of a mountain could pass through the atmosphere causing it to burn off and we would all be slowly roasted by cosmic rays, bird flu, paying too much, social security, the democrats, people might be just pretending to like you, what is that smell, forgetting to change your oil, plumbing problems, forgetting to pay a bill, there's never anything good on TV..... yada, yada, yada

Depending on your belief, this list could be either preventive or causative. But even as a prevention, 5% of this stuff could still happen. So you probably shouldn't leave home without your tinfoil hat!

Russell

*How do you become a Quantum Mechanic?

A Rose By Any Other Name Is Oh Baby, Baby!

I really have fun with my art. Whether I'm painting "realistically" or in a more bizarre way, or cartooning, or even writing, I am probably having fun. I think the idea of the suffering artist is kind of sickening. Art should relieve suffering not cause it. I have written poetry in moments of despair or grief, but I found this poetry to be healing. Even when it was angry it was a healing form of anger. I'm not talking about the wallowing around in anger typical of popular music. I think that stuff is just like the wallowing that happens on TV crime shows.

I do like art which is socially conscious, but I don't care for propaganda. Sometimes this is a fine line but I think it is discernible. The propagandist is using art to push an agenda. The artist is expressing himself. I like to think of God as an artist. People are always trying to figure out how the world we see can be the way it appears to be (messed up) if there really is a loving God. Any artist knows you cannot have light without dark. Actually I have tried to paint pictures that were completely lit up! They are so pastel they wind up just looking washed out. Who would want to read a story without any drama or suspense?

Lets face it without any ups and downs life wouldn't be very lively. Don't get me wrong I'm not trying to paint a smiley face on depression. Actually I'm totally against any kind of feel good psycho-pablum. I just know life is never going to be all flowers and orgasms and that is what makes flowers and orgasms so much fun. Okay maybe flowers aren't fun.

Russell

Why Jesus Never Gets Invited To Parties

What is it I am supposed to be doing? I'm a pretty busy person. I grew up with the good old protestant work ethic. You know that sense that sense that no matter what you're doing you ought to be doing something else. Or if not something else I should be doing what I'm doing either faster or better, maybe faster and better! Behind all this self inflicted misery is the idea that I should have to earn the right to enjoy life.

I do connect this attitude to a certain kind of spiritual or religious outlook. It is the point of view from which comes the idea we should all be glad to do God's will but should not actually expect it to be fun. I come from a system which puts forth the view that God's will is, that I be happy joyous and free! Now that sounds like fun, right? So why does the idea of God's will sound like such a drag?

I think it's because God gets a bad rap due to the crowd that He is associated with. Lets face it a lot of righteous people are not much fun at all! I used to get a kick out of giving them a hard time. Okay that's a lie! I still get a kick out of it. I remember one particularly sanctimonious guy who used to warn me about falling into the Devil's company. I told him that the Devil and I were best friends, that I called him "Dev" for short. He actually freaked out over stuff like that.

Nowadays I think God is probably a lot more fun than we can believe. You know it's true! If God is infinite (if not He's not God) then he is doing some really weird bizarre stuff! He has got to have a real wild sense of humor. I like those statues of the fat laughing Buddha, now that guy is in touch with God's will. God wants you to laugh your pants off!

Beware Of The Pod People!

I am not sure how many remakes there are of "Invasion Of The Body Snatchers." The original black and white version is the best. The idea of being replaced by some unfeeling automaton is truly creepy. Creepier still is the idea that the people you love could suddenly turn into unfeeling automatons! Yet this happens to everyone sooner or later. Have you ever had a friend that suddenly seemed to become a stranger? Wasn't that pretty much the theme of junior high and high school? Too bad it doesn't stop along with adolescence, say at age 35, 40 or 60. It really hurts when someone you love turns into a pod person.

In the movie pod people would stash a big seed pod looking thing somewhere nearby and while you slept the pod would pop out a duplicate of you. The duplicate would replace you. Before it happened to you, you would experience your family and friends suddenly turning into cold unfeeling strangers. They would superficially mimic their former selves but they had no soul.

I haven't noticed any big seed pod looking things but I have experienced plenty of pod people. I don't think it takes an actual pod to replace a person with an unfeeling automaton. Well maybe an Ipod, or some other gadget or other. It's not the gadget that does it either. You could probably have all kinds of gizmos and stay human. But there is something about the emphasis we place on stuff that has something to do with becoming a pod. Also I have noticed we seem to be spending more and more time talking to and texting each other but I have hunch the more we communicate the less we say. That has something to do with it too.

Still, things and small talk are not the problem. Maybe we start seeing each other as a means to an end, or as instruments. If I don't see you as human does that mean I become less human? That sounds right to me. But what about the pod people? If I keep seeing more and more pod people does that mean I am turning into one? Shit! I hope not! Because they're here! They're here! The invasion has started!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFnSxeDfENk

Russell