Sheep

Sheep

Monday, March 19, 2012

Should Our National Dessert Be Apple Or Humble Pie?

So two weeks ago nobody had ever heard of Robert Bales. Now we are all scratching our heads and searchong our hearts trying to figure out what to do with him. The truth of course is that we killed him way before now. We don't know what to do with him because he is our creation. Every single one of us is complicit in his crime. We decided to tolerate endless war carried out by a few unlucky bastards on our behalf. We all know, or absolutely should know, that we are steadily destroying the people we send there to fight over and over and over again. This wasn't the first atrocity either, it's just the first we know was committed by a nice guy that we turned into a psychopathic killer.

We don't want to judge Robert Bales because we know he was just our instrument. Finding him guilty will be hypocritical unless we also find ourselves guilty. Of course if we do not find him guilty we are endorsing the crimes he carried out for us. We are stuck in our collective guilt.

Just like Robert Bales we are mostly good people that allowed ourselves to get sucked into a massive crime. It's time to confess and suffer the consequences. It's time to quit the killing. We like to think we are morally superior to other nations and that is the first step toward genocide. We need some humility.

We aren't the only people with that sense of moral superiority. The Islamic terrorists have it, the Nazis had it, Stalin had it (Putin may too) the Japanese had it prior to WW II, racists have it. Hunility may not be as glamorous as self-righteousness but we cannot afford that kind of glamor anymore.

We need to lose terms like "collateral damage." The Nazis talked about people that way too. We were and are apalled at how they dehumanized groups of people. I tell you what, predator drones controlled remotely and used with impunity with tolerable amounts of collateral damage (innocent victims) would have been one of Hitler's favorite wet-dreams.

The German army in WW II killed civilians, they massacred prisoners of war, were they cold hearted sociopaths? Of course they were. Or were they just German soldiers who wanted to serve their country and were gradually perverted by never ending war? Of course they were.

I feel real bad about Robert Bales. I remember being the lone protester against these stupid wars 10 years ago. I wish that having stood at 61st and Seawall with my "No War" sign would somehow relieve me of any responsibility but it doesn't. Still I'm glad I did it even if it didn't prevent these stupid wars. It's time to man up and admit we are wrong. It's time to quit pretending we are morally superior. It's time to bring home our wounded soldiers. And it's time to recognize that every last one of them is wounded and needs healing.



Russell

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Squatch This!!

I kind of like the show "Finding Bigfoot" I also like some of those UFO programs and this new show about "Prepers." Prepers are not preppies they are people preparing for doomsday. These shows interest me because they appeal to my inner-crackpot. I admit it I have crackpot leanings. I don't think I'm that weird either and that's sort of unfortunate. The thing is though I know that looking for Bigfoot or evidence of ancient aliens is a colossal waste of time. It's just a lark, sure I wish Nessie was real but I know he's not. I want to believe in crop circles (I mean believe they are not man made) but I just can't.

Actually I would love to pull off a hoax. I'm too lazy and undisciplined to create a crop circle. I have tried to figure out a good bogus UFO scare but my best idea involves plastic dry cleaning bags and birthday candles. I don't want to be responsible for any fires so that's out too. Living by the coast I should probably work on some sort of sea monster hoax. I think coming up with some sort of mutant mullet caused by the BP oil spill would be totally cool. Imagine a completely harmless bait fish transformed into a venomous harbinger of death! I like it!

Here's how it would work; these fish mutate into flesh nibbling carnivores after eating seaweed contaminated with oil. That would make them merely annoying, so the real problem is the dispersants used in the cleanup caused their bite to be lethal. The dispersants get in you when the death mullet bites you and the dipersants dissolve blood plasma! It's a horrible way to die! Oh shit this rumor might impact tourism! Forget it immediately! We need a monster the will attract tourists not scare them off. I will keep thinking about it. Meanwhile I'll keep watching shows about Sasquatch, UFOs and Area 51.

Hey the best thing I have ever heard I heard on that "Finding Bigfoot" show! What is it? What's the best thing I've ever heard? It's so cool I can hardly believe it! It's gawdamned awesome I swear! Ready? It's, it's "SQUATCHY!" it's an adjective! It means having Sasquatch like qualities. They say shit like "hmm... that smells squatchy!" or "this place looks squatchy!" or even just "this feels squatchy!" This is a word we all have to use as often as we possibly can. Imagine making mad passionate squatchy love! Or complaining to your waiter that your eggs are squatchy! I want to take a day off from work by calling in squatchy! If someone really pisses you off just tell them to go squatch themselves! or to take a flying squatch! I'd go on but I feel like squatching out for a while.




Russell

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Beauty Fades But Dumb Is Forever

Is it a social faux pas to let your intelligence show? I think so. Probably the most embarrassing thing you can do is appear to be really smart. You would be better off having toilet paper stuck to the bottom of your shoe. Actually if you came from the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe it would be so embarrassing that people might accuse you of being some kind of genius! Gad, the humiliation!

There's a comedy on TV about a bunch of geniuses. They are portrayed as social misfits. I kind of like it. It is funny sometimes. I don't think you could make a show making fun of Black People as social misfits, or Asians as social misfits, or women as social misfits. I am absolutely certain you couldn't get away with making fun of the cognitively impaired as social misfits. I don't want to get all politically correct about it or anything. I mean the highly intelligent can handle being made fun of.

What I don't like is the idea that being smart is somehow offensive and you should do all you can to avoid appearing uncomfortably smart. I don't see too many people trying to hide their stupidity, a lot of folks actually seem really proud of it. But people are always trying to avoid sounding too smart. I don't get it.

The truth is of course that interesting people are smart. So are most truly funny people. Good music, good poetry and good stories come from brilliant minds. As a visual artist I would like to think that painting also requires intelligence but I am not sure about it.

The truth is most of my friends seem really smart to me. I guess I like misfits. On the other hand, a friend once invited me to a Mensa party, it sucked! I don't think it sucked because I couldn't follow the conversation, I could. Mostly I remember it seemed like everyone was kind of showing off. Of course a lot of parties are like that, people styling out some way or another.

Maybe its me! But I don't really think so. I think we become self-conscious at around puberty. Then we start trying to stand out while simultaneously fitting in (which is of course impossible). So if you're smart you want everyone to think it's cool that you're smart but not to single you out or embarrass you about it. Is anyone ever embarrassed about looking too good? I don't think so, but have no first hand knowledge about that. It seems like pretty people really get off on being gorgeous. One good thing about being smart is it is generally pretty sustainable.

Former beauties (whether male or female) are kind of pittiful but smart people stay cool in their own special way. I bet being a former beauty dumbass is really depressing.



Russell